Moe Howard, J.D.

I found out this morning that I passed all of my final exams and that I am now a graduate of law school. I went over how I was not walking at commencement in my last (first) blog post. So yes, I am officially declaring myself a graduate of law school although graduation is technically two days away. I have to go pick up my degree from school next week - ugh, I thought I was done with that place. Just kidding, I have to go back to do Bar exam prep in the Winter of this year. Side note: The Tennessee Bar is offered twice a year - July and February. I decided I deserve a break (if you call still working full-time a break), so I am going to wait until February 2015 to take the exam. I am sure I will have plenty more Bar fodder in subsequent posts.

Once I got my grades, I called my parents and told them. I told my dad that he can now refer to me as Daughter, J.D. His reply, "who is J.D.? Jacklyn Donovan?" Is that actually someone? I don't know and I am too lazy to Google it. I told him what it stood for (Doctor of Jurisprudence). "Dad, never mind J.D., just call me Doctor." Wait, why aren't law school graduates referred to as doctors? What the hell? I have asked a few people this question and I often get the same response: "you aren't a medical doctor." My response: "Neither is a Ph.D." LAWYERED.

Since I was at work when I checked my grades this morning, I told a few interested coworkers who I am friendly with. Within two minutes I had those coworkers I am not so friendly with coming up to me congratulating me. It is so very nice to be recognized, but at the same time holy crap, it's only been two minutes and I only told three people. That's my office for ya. News (whether it is true or not) travels fast. Honestly, gossip is about the only thing my coworkers do fast.

In other news, I made the decision not to have one of my gentleman callers over last night because he has an issue with destroying my property when we hang out (long story to be told very soon). I am regretting that decision as I was left alone for too long and sporadically decided at about 10 o'clock last night that I should trim my hair. I have trimmed my own hair in the past and even cut myself some super cute side-swept bangs. A broke girl's gotta do what a broke girl's gotta do. So once I lopped off some of my disgustingly scraggly ends I thought, "Oooh, I should cut myself some shorter side-swept bangs this time since they grew out so fast last time." I do my due diligence and watch the You Tube tutorial for cutting side-swept bangs and halfway through I think, "I want blunt bangs again!" So I cut and cut and cut some more. WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?! I think I just blacked out. MAYBE IF I DYE MY HAIR IT WILL LOOK BETTER? This was about 10:30pm. Lesson #1: Never make decisions regarding your hair or commit an act in furtherance of these decisions past, let's say 7:30pm Eastern Standard Time. I applied "light brown" hair dye to my hair and settled into an awkward pose to avoid getting hair dye on my cream colored leather couch while I watched Hitch on the tube. I don't know why, but I can watch that movie every time it's on TV. I let it marinate and then wash it out. Hmmm, that's a lot darker than "light brown." MAYBE AFTER I DRY MY HAIR, THE BANGS AND THE COLOR WILL LOOK JUST LIKE WHAT I PICTURED. It's about 11:15pm at this point. Drying... drying... drying. HURRY UP AND DRY YOU STUPID HAIR. Okay, got my bangs dried. Look in the mirror. WHAT THE FUCK?! It's dark brown and I look like a monk. Lesson #2: Dammit, if I had just allowed my Hulked-out paramour come over last night, he would have ruined my belongings, but probably not my hair.

So, today my bangs are pinned back and soldered down with one-fourth of a can of lovely Aussie hairspray. I haven't figured out anything else to do with the dang things. I went during lunch to see if I could find some of those fake bangs (terrible idea). It's probably a good thing Walgreens didn't have any. Although, I did see a curly phony pony that I was so tempted to drape across my forehead. Silver lining: If perchance they decide to shoot ANOTHER rendition of "The Three Stooges" say, tomorrow, I am a shoo-in for Moe Howard.

P.S. I am trying to decide whether I should post a pic of this 'do (read: this don't). I don't know if I can be that raw and real with y'all yet though. I need all the readers I can get.